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MARRIAGE GOING DOWN AFTER JUST 2 YEARS

hi everyone,
i used to be happily married not too long ago, i used to always end up with unfaithful woman of my own race (indian) and had a bright idea of going outside my race group so while scouting for my soulmate i stumbled upon a beautiful cape coloured and our relationship took off well, we got married and had a kid who is now 1year old, lastyear october i was diagnosed with cancer(tetsticular) so i had to have an op to remove one of them, i function sexually much better now that the tumar is out but my wife's attitude towards me and our relationship has changed drastically, she talks down to me, makes me feel unwanted, she sometimes ignores me for no apparent reason, i am so depressed i am thinking abt divorce this morning.

i love my baby too much to be responsible for taking his mother out of his life, but is it a bad idea to stay in a miserable marriage just for the sake of kids, should i get involved with someone else who will give me what my wife doesnt and stay married???????????????????????

confused

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Stungun on February 18, 2010 at 9:08

thats a tough one hey, but remember u have to think about the long run and not just the present.Maybe ur wife was lonely during ur time of sickness and she needed u but u werent there for her and things do change in relationships and sometimes there are just no answers for wat happens in our lives but if u want happiness u have to be happy first before anyone else................i understand that u love ur child but sometimes u end up making the situation worst by staying in da relationship for the sake of the child. Bottom line is, the child is not gonna stay small forever and will eventually figure out wat's going on and thats more damaging when they older cos they figure that it was all a front.have u tried discussing this with ur wife?

Permalink Reply by NAVIN on February 18, 2010 at 9:19

hi Tamin, thanks for sharing ur thoughts, i have tried talking abt it daily and she evades the topic or tells me that i am the problem and i should change, she then gives me examples of other husbands(our friends) and compares me to them, well when i was ill i was only out of action for 3 weeks, just 2 days after my operation i began having sex with her again ( iam strong willed so i refused to let my illness stand in the way of my marriage...atleast the sexual side), it is such a hard decision to make, she was married and divorced before i met her and she has a son who is 5 now from her ex, i took him in as my own and he calls me daddy, as for my baby boy...when i look into his eyes the last thing i want to do is break his heart and make him cry, i feel a bit selfish for thinking abt divorce and being indian makes it difficult as indian families let u know exactly how they feel abt seperation....its always the guys fault.
my son is a huge inspiration to me, his innocence makes me a different person, more patient and understanding i guess thats why i stuck it out wit my wife for so long, i once had the cowardly thought of ending my miserable existance and then i coiuldnt bear the thought of not seeing my son grow up, my other issue is that i could lose him to her in a divorce and i dont want to lose him

i know i am rambling all over the place right now...i apologise but i have all this going through my mind at the same time

TAMIN LEE said:

thats a tough one hey, but remember u have to think about the long run and not just the present.Maybe ur wife was lonely during ur time of sickness and she needed u but u werent there for her and things do change in relationships and sometimes there are just no answers for wat happens in our lives but if u want happiness u have to be happy first before anyone else................i understand that u love ur child but sometimes u end up making the situation worst by staying in da relationship for the sake of the child. Bottom line is, the child is not gonna stay small forever and will eventually figure out wat's going on and thats more damaging when they older cos they figure that it was all a front.have u tried discussing this with ur wife?