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LAUGH A BIT..

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Funny posts and jokes

Location: all over
Members: 88
Latest Activity: May 25

confession

A woman is having an affair during the day while her husband is at work.
Her nine-year-old son comes home unexpectedly, sees the illegal lovers
and
hides in the bedroom cupboard to watch.

Then the woman's husband unexpectedly comes home. She hides her lover in
the cupboard, not realizing that her little boy is in there already..

The little Boy says : "Dark in here."
The Man says : "Yes, it is."
Boy : "I have a soccer ball; do you want to buy it?"
Man : "No, thanks."
Boy : "My dad's outside, I'll call him if you don't buy it!"
Man : "OK, how much?"
Boy : "R250-00."

A few weeks later it happened again and the boy and the lover were in
the cupboard together again.
Boy : "Dark in here."
Man : "Yes, it is."
Boy : "I have soccer boots."
The Man, remembering the last time, asks the boy: "How much?"
The Boy says : "R750-00."
The Man says : "Fine, I will buy them."

A few days later, the Father says to the boy: "Grab your ball and boots,
let's go outside and have a game."

The Boy says : "I can't, I sold them for R1000."
The Father says : "That's terrible to overcharge your
friends like that... R1000 is way more than those two things cost. I'm
going to take you to church and make you confess your sins."

They go to church and the father makes the little boy sit in the
confession booth and he closes the door.

The Boy says : "Dark in here."
The Priest says : "Don't start that sh!t again!"

THIS IS MY CHURCH NOT YOUR FATHER'S HOUSE

Discussion Forum

What does kiss means 2 u? 5 Replies

tell us abt how do u realy enterpreate it?

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Sick Leave.I urgently needed a few days off work, but I knew the Boss would not allow me to take leave… I thought that maybe if I acted 'CRAZY' then he would tell me to take a few days off.So I hung…Continue

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Started by bruce. Last reply by wendy Aug 11, 2010.

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Comment by Knersus on February 29, 2012 at 7:33: Two men and a blonde sit is a bar, the waiter asks them what they want to drink.

The first man says: Jack Daniels, single.

The second man says: Johnny Walker, single.

The blonde says: Marie Van Der Westhuizen, divorced.

Comment by Mona Lisa on February 28, 2012 at 16:40: Special dedication to all blondes!

A world-renowned heart-surgeon and poker pro and a blonde cocktail waitress are sitting next to each other in a $1-2 NL cash game at the MGM in Las Vegas. The surgeon is upset as the blonde keeps winning big pots from him despite it being the first time she's ever played poker.

He suggests they play a prop bet where they ask each other questions; if they don't know the answer to the question; they have to pay the other person. She asks him how she's supposed to compete with a smart, world-renowned surgeon, as she's just a simple cocktail waitress. Eager to make her look stupid, he offers her odds, so that she has to pay him $5 for every time he stumps her, but he'll pay her $50 each time she stumps him. She agrees.

He asks her what the capital of Paraguay is and she shrugs and flips him a red $5 chip.

Her question for him is: "What rises in the evening, sleeps in the morning, and has twice as many brothers as sisters?"

He thinks and thinks and thinks, getting more frustrated, then whips out his iPhone, calls his friends, and finally checks the Internet for an answer. He finally gives up and shoves $50 in chips over to her.

"Well," he angrily demands, "what's the answer?"

She shrugs and flips him another $5 chip.

Comment by Mona Lisa on February 28, 2012 at 16:23: The manager of a large corporation got a heart attack, and the doctor told him to go for several weeks to a farm to relax. The guy went to a farm, and after a couple of days he was very bored, so he asked the farmer to give him some job to do.

The farmer told him to clean the sh*t of the cows. The farmer thought that to somebody coming from the city, working the whole life sitting in an office, it will take over a week to finish the job, but for his surprise the manager finished the job in less than one day.

The next day the farmer gave to the manager a more difficult job: to cut the heads of 500 chickens. The farmer was sure that the manager will not be able to do the job, but at the end of the day the job was done.

The next morning, as most of the jobs in the farm were done, the farmer asked the manager to divide a bag of potatoes in two boxes: one box with small potatoes, and one box with big potatoes.

At the end of the day the farmer saw that the manager was sitting in front of the potatoes bag, but the two boxes were empty. The farmer asked the manager: "How is that you made such difficult jobs during the first days, and now you cannot do this simple job?"

The manager answered: "Listen, all my life I'm cutting heads and dealing with sh*t, but now you ask me to make decisions."

Comment by Mona Lisa on January 31, 2012 at 8:42: After having failed his exam in ‘Logistics and Organization', Mike goes and confronts his lecturer about it.

Mike: Sir, do you really understand anything about the subject?

Professor: Surely I must, otherwise I would not be a professor!

Mike: Great, well then I would like to ask you a question. If you can give me the correct answer, I will accept my mark as is and go. If you however do not know the answer, I want you give me an 'A' for the exam.

Professor: Okay, it's a deal. So what is the question?

Mike: What is legal, but not logical, logical, but not legal, and neither logical nor legal?

Even after some long and hard consideration, the professor cannot give Mike an answer, and therefore changes his exam mark into an 'A', as agreed.

Still puzzled, the professor later calls on his best student in his class, Eric, and asks him the same question.

Eric immediately answers, 'Sir, you see, you are 63 years old and married to a 35 year old woman, which is legal, but not logical. Your wife has a 25 year old lover, which is logical, but not legal. The fact that you have given your wife's lover an ‘A’, although he really should have failed, is neither legal nor logical.'

The professor fainted.

Comment by Mary-Jane on December 18, 2011 at 8:23: Represent Christmas

Three men die in a car accident Christmas Eve. They all find themselves at the pearly gates waiting to enter Heaven. On entering they must present something relating or associated with Christmas.

The first man searches his pocket, and finds some Mistletoe, so he is allowed in.

The second man presents a cracker, so he is also allowed in.

The third man pulls out a pair of stockings.

Confused at this last gesture, St. Peter asks, "How do these represent Christmas?"

"They're Carol's."

Comment by Wayne Mackenzie on November 29, 2011 at 21:33: What I said... It is A jar

as in open . a play on words

Comment by Mona Lisa on November 29, 2011 at 10:43: Yhats a grey area. Meaning if someone is not right nor wrong. I do not understand what you mean by ajar?