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sexy sex
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by O Fairy -
Yeah....me thinks it's the six packs Knersie...lol plus surfer dudes are really cool, laid back guys.
Knersus said:Well the surfers here seem to have some really good looking lady friends so i guess it works..lol..then again it could be their 6 packs that draw them ladies in
O Fairy said:Lol... is it gonna ggive me an even dreamier guy? Hehehehehe
Knersus said:Want some A grade Durban Poison? Its narly bru..lol
O Fairy said:
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Permalink Reply by Peter Van Aardt -
duh! what an uninformed and biased comment. Maybe you should stop watching porn and get a life.
thato said:yeah it not something you should feel shame of and besides, it feels so good Dlamini to be fucked in a public place, we must be like americans they do sex like animals
kindly regard
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Permalink Reply by Peter Van Aardt
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yes and why not. Must we only make love in the bedroom? How utterly boring! it is fun and very exiting, just dont get caught!
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Permalink Reply by Mona Lisa -
Indeed it doesnt have to be just in the bedroom, but in public? Where you can be seen by everybody? Nope. That would not work for me. To be private isnt boring. Its respect towards yourself and your partner. Sex isnt like humping in front of everyone because a person is horny... Its something that has to be enjoyed. Its not just a quick impulsive act, Its something clean, its a connection, chemistry between two people without a crowd.
Peter Van Aardt said:yes and why not. Must we only make love in the bedroom? How utterly boring! it is fun and very exiting, just dont get caught!
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Permalink Reply by bodhidharma -
There are obviously categories here. Like two young couples bonking their respective partners in a car parked in lovers lane. Bonking in front of strangers, like at an orgy. Bonking in a public place where there no other people, but there is a chance of someone seeing. I can understand the excitement of the latter. And I think it was the original question.
Mona Lisa said:Indeed it doesnt have to be just in the bedroom, but in public? Where you can be seen by everybody? Nope. That would not work for me. To be private isnt boring. Its respect towards yourself and your partner. Sex isnt like humping in front of everyone because a person is horny... Its something that has to be enjoyed. Its not just a quick impulsive act, Its something clean, its a connection, chemistry between two people without a crowd.
Peter Van Aardt said:yes and why not. Must we only make love in the bedroom? How utterly boring! it is fun and very exiting, just dont get caught!
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Permalink Reply by Peter Van Aardt
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I dont mean having sex while others are watching you, not at all. I am to private for that. But making love where the risk of being caught does add excitement and a added measure of pleasure. Sex is possibly the most wonderful pleasure two people can enjoy TOGETHER, confining it to the bedroom alone is so very sad because it is then to me purely an act of procreation and little more. The barefoot woman in the kitchen or on her back in the bedroom syndrome is about appealing to me as giant wart between my eyes! My woman is my partner and equal in every way, sharing in every aspect of our lives together and very important, I AM HER MAN , exclusively!, and she is MY WOMAN, EXCLUSIVELY. (Well thats the ideal but my personal experience here, loyalty and faithfulness are a dirty word among woman, hence I am single :) I'd love to be able to post a poll her that can be answered anonymously asking the one single question, Have you been totally faithful to your partner? At the clinic the figures were shocking!)
Sorry Mona but if sex is only a "planned" event then no wonder so many people that I have treated in the past were bored to death with their partners often leading to extra marital affairs. Spontaneous sex / love making is wonderful and with out the usual pressure. In today's world of stress, limited time, sexual dysfunction etc etc etc to try and plan the "event', (which is what it then becomes) will in many ways have negative effects on either one or both parties. I have seen that in some countries sex is still very much an old fashioned, often taboo subject and pleasure. This I find so sad. God has gifted us with the one thing that 99.9% of other mammals do not have, sex for the pure pleasure of it. I have Counseled many many couples on this subject and one underlying problem was their view of sex.
Take SA as an eg. For the average man sex is never discussed either by parents or teachers, (only with the 'mates' in the pub where they swapped 'war stories' of their conquests, most of which is of course mostly total fantasy) masturbation was considered 'dirty' (you will get hair on your hands!!""") so what was sex for him in his teens and later? IT was dirty, furtive and had to be quick so he would not be caught. Where did he get his knowledge from? Porn movies and magazines.
So two things,
what was sex to him? It was wrong and dirty and had to be done in secret and as quick as possible with enormous guilt built into the package.
Watching these porn starts what was his view of a mans performance? (And most are without showing any foreplay, the MOST important aspect of sex for any woman) What he saw was a stud who banged away (and i use the term banged as I find porn movies totally distasteful and degrading) for hours on end. So to him the boy, teen that was watching, he should be able to do this as well.
Wrong! Those porn movies are shot over weeks and even months and are cut and pasted to make the final 'production' . Pl us today these studs live on drugs like Viagra, Cialis etc etc....Thus creating in the male mind the idea that they should perform like that is a powerful NEGATIVE influence on any man that watches and often drives them to the drugs that prolong / enhance their performance.
(So unnecessary when in fact (unless he suffers from a DEBILITATING MEDICAL ailment, there are exercises, diet and much more that can do the same and more. THEN for sure one can make love for 5, 6 and more hours without a break enjoying each other in fun and passion)
So where does this leave the now young man with his first sexual encounter? (Remember that his subconscious has stored and recorded all his feelings, all he has seen and heard for recall by the conscious mind as and when required WITHOUT differentiation between fact or fiction)
Very simple, first and most important his view of a woman are debased and belittling , she is just a sex object (See 'Homeboy" in the other blog as a prime example) plus he thinks he needs to perform like a stud BUT his physical body has been TRAINED by him to orgasm quickly and, added to this, his feeling of guilt. Where does this all leave the couple? The woman feels used and unsatisfied, (For a young woman with her first encounter this so often leads her to sleeping around as she searches for the stupid soapy / romantic novel version of "utopia' sex, leading to more disappointment and more abuse to her syche) the male feels overburdened by inadequacy and feeling of being 'less of a man' with now a permanent and increasing, (every time he premature ejaculates or does not perform) feeling of inadequacy. Sadly this can lead to break ups of relationships, alcohol abuse, drug abuse and even rape.
So, in a nutshell, I agree that sex is chemistry between two people (Actually it is much, much more than that but I will when i get time post a blog and expand on this very interesting and important subject)
BUT,
to say that it is not impulsive I feel is very wrong. All my girlfriends ( no i have not had dozens, just an expression) loved it if, as an example, when I came home while they were hanging up the washing outside in our garden, i walked up and 'took her' there on the lawn, or while she was reading a book on the pool deck I started slowly exploring her body until we made love in the sun. I've yet to meet a woman that does not like it when her man shows her that 1. she is desirable anytime of the day or night and wherever he may find her wearing what ever she is at the time (i.e. T shirt & jeans are just as sexy as thousand $$ lingerie) AND that she is HIS woman and he is HER man. The same goes both ways. I love it when my woman sneaks up to me while I am working and whispers in my ear that she is horny and wants me to XXXXXX NOW! IT is for me an INSTANT turn-on and the sex / love making that follows always gives my woman multiple orgasm because this is a coupling of both our deepest, unplanned animal desire for each other, desire born of our love and the need to be each others, i.e. I am her man to take when she needs or wants me and visa versa.
Human beings behind all the facade of bs that society and our parents have taught us are still a primal creature. Understanding this and the many, many chemical, physiological, spiritual and 'energy - life forces' that are part of 'making love'or 'fucking' is possibly the most misunderstood aspect of sexuality in the west. (there is a vast difference between the two [fucking & making love] but at a point in time during the actual act the is cohesion of exactly the same form and result, its what follows in the above spectrum of feelings etc that changes between pure sex and love making - ill explain that some other time.)
have fun, take risks, show your partner you not only love them but WANT them to.
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